Top 5 Zones

5 – Twilight
4 – O
3 – End
2 – In the
1- Cal

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The five second rule doesn’t apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping.


“I’m so pissed I could punch a ba-”
“A what?” Big Baby from Toy Story 3 hovers over me, sawed-off shotgun in hand.
“A bagel. I HATE carbs.”


Some say I’ve “gone off the rails,” or “left the reservation,” or “screwed the pooch,” or “mixed my metaphors,” or “launched the hot dog”


The asian girl I’m playing chess against is really hot, you might say she’s worth a…

*puts on sunglasses*

“Second rook”


Going to start a band called The Subtweets. All songs will contain cryptic lyrics that incite paranoia in the crowd.


“On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you’re in charge.”
– my advice to new teachers


My debate style is more like Teddy Roosevelt. I carry a big stick in one hand, a sword in the other, and wait for you to agree.