@UnFitz: Tragically, I misread her profile. Apparently her favorite position is "reserved cowgirl."
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@JillianKarger: SON: mommy I’m scared of the bogeyman ME: there is no bogeyman honey SON: he’s not real? ME: oh he’s very real. but I hunted him down years ago SON: ME: there was so much blood SON: ME: [whispers] his head is in the basement freezer
@: just because i loved you at one point does not mean i will always love you... I am not Whitney Houston
@TheBoydP: Relationship status: Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown to kick. She's Lucy. I'm the football.
@filthyson: How to make-out - 1. Hold her close 2. Kiss passionately 3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father