@Boladayy: Trains are cancelled cause of the wind, but uni expects me to still come in??? What makes them think I’m stronger than a train
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@aparnapkin: Ocean’s 8 makes me feel seen as a woman but also as someone who has tried to organize anything with more than 3 people
@pizzajaynow: When someone yawns, I like to yell "Surprise Dentist!" and stick my hand in their mouth, which is fun because I'm not really a dentist.
@GorillaNipples1: [My Dad If He Were A Bartender] ME: Can I have a beer? DAD: I don’t know, CAN you? ME: Ugh, just make me a drink. DAD: Poof, you’re a drink. ME: Come on! DAD: Where are we going? ME: I’m putting you in a home. DAD: We’re already in someones home.