@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.

@slytherinstef: I'm totally winning this weight watchers thing! I've eaten more points than everyone!!! I hope I'm doing this right...

@CantWaitToNap: Oh my God. Where are you? Car keys: LMFAO

@GrantTanaka: if you stand up in a hospital waiting room & loudly announce your name & why you're there, sometimes another person will do it too

@jordan_stratton: Oh, man. My grandma caught me texting my OTHER grandma and now things are super tense.