@therealeatwood

TRIX RABBIT [finally eating a bowl of Trix cereal]: Ehh

You Might Also Like

@Darlainky

Beastie Boys: So whatcha whatcha whatcha want?

2020: *deep breath*

@kcmoore51

*opens new donut shop called “The Gym”*

You’re welcome.

@meganamram

Remember: if you see a tie on my doorknob, it means I’m taking the door to prom

@LuvPug

“So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another”

-How I Met Your Stepmother

@mack44_d

Every relationship needs boundaries…

….mine are set at 500 feet according to the paperwork.

@ClichedOut

HER: i’m leaving u

ME: is it bc i’m so optimistic

HER: yes

ME: cool see u tonight

@Ten_Toes_7

Ok this TV character is expecting an important phone call from the kidnapper and they haven’t gotten once single spam call the whole time.
Must be nice.

@LizHackett

I just want to be wealthy enough to leave notes for the house-sitter like “If the puma seems restless, let him splash in the Jacuzzi a bit.”