Yes, Pitbull, we are having a good time. Please stop asking every two minutes.
TRUMP: I just killed & ate a homeless man
MEDIA: You’re a monster
TRUMP: This sort of political correctness is what’s ruining our country
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A closed mouth keeps it’s teeth.
Will I understand The Matrix if I haven’t seen The Matrviii? Will I understand sex if I’ve never had seix?
The cruelest part of the movie Bambi?nnnnHis mom named him “Bambi.” nnShe deserved what she got for that.
[reading online survey]
Are you ready to double your satisfaction?
My god this sounds wildly inappropriate.
What if during Halloween people said “creepy crawlidays”
surprise your partner in the bedroom by loudly turning into a helicopter
*holding banana up to my ear as if it’s a phone*
haha, get it?? it looks like i am making a phonecall. but i’m n-*banana rings* oh crap
I saw the most beautiful woman at the store today so of course I did the sensible thing and imagined what our whole life would be like if we fell in love and then I never spoke to her.
YouTube DIY videos be like “turn this $1 pallet into a beautiful dining table with 14 thousand dollars worth of tools”