@rickygervais: Trump worked his way up from nothing. He's going to give every American the same 1 million dollars he started with. That's all you need.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brianhopecomedy: MISSING: 5 year old LAST SEEN: Moments after I said, "Bath time." DESCRIPTION: Naked, sporting 20-23 Spider-Man band-aids
@markleggett: At the ripe old age of 900, in a universe inhabited by thousands of alien races, I bet Yoda had some pretty racist shit to say.
@AbbieEvansXO: Wonder Woman: we need more warriors, have you sent in the reinforcements yet? Amazon Customer Service: …what
@brianbowman73: *applies for million dollar grant to test scientific theory* What's your theory? That money can buy happiness.