@rickygervais: Trump worked his way up from nothing. He's going to give every American the same 1 million dollars he started with. That's all you need.
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@delusions_of: My arm bone's connected to my hand bone. My hand bone's connected to a bacon cheeseburger.
@TheTweetOfGod: If what people thought of you, what you thought of yourself and who you really are ever met, the three of you wouldn't recognize each other.
@MarfSalvador: teacher: we found drugs in your son's school bag me: oh wow ok teacher: it's worrying me: very *rubbing chin* he should've sold them all by now