@SnizTheFriz: Trust me, it's all filters and angles. I'm actually a saint bernard.
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@daviddeweil: If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision.
@LoveNLunchmeat: [watching basketball] I bet these guys all have really big *husband stares at me* feet. And that's how you get him to turn off the game.
@MichaelTrying: I didn't realize that "sow your wild oats" is a metaphor, so I pretty much spent my early twenties farming.
@JediGigi: Me: Nice biker jacket. You ride? Him: No Me: So you're a liar? Him: Me: Him: Nice yoga pants Me: That jacket looks so awesome on you!