@SnizTheFriz: Trust me, it's all filters and angles. I'm actually a saint bernard.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Pulls out flip phone, flips open, stares at screen, closes, clips back to hip. Phone doesn't even work; I do it for the ladies on the bus.
@pixelatedboat: You can't trust the mainstream media, that's why I get all my news from the giant in my dreams
@SortaBad: If you don't want to be there today, just say "I'm just here for the food and hopefully some good commercials. Also congrats on the wedding"
@WhaJoTalkinBout: dad: where do you think you’re going me: *caught applying for an art history degree* uh nowhere?