The Last Dance just keeps getting better
Truthful Tuesday. I don’t understand string theory or open faced sandwiches.
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Dating in your 50’s is great!
Although my husband’s not that keen, tbh
me: hear me out, you know how everybody LOVES prince, well what if there were two of him?
spin doctors: that’s genius
Ok No Loitering sign, let’s get one thing straight: the type of people who loiter are not the type of people who know what loitering means.
*points at everything*
I’d hit that.
I won’t be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other.
They are not wrong.
[2 guys at open mic night]
What are we gonna name our band?
[from crowd] look at the one guys hair! LMFAO
*they look at each other*
[first little league game]
me: knock ‘em dead son
son: thanks pa
me: destroy them
me: kill them all
me: SEND THEM SCREAMING INTO THE FIRES OF HELL
My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don’t think she’d be a good secret agent.