Truthfully officer, I wouldn’t have pulled over, if I known all you were gonna do is complain about my driving..
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Anna: If you don’t wanna build a snowman I feel bad for you, son.
Elsa: I got 99 problems but the cold ain’t one.
[cop knocks on the door of a steamed up car]
[I get out holding a bowl of melted butter & wearing a lobster bib] this better be important
Not everyone understands my laundry method. It’s simple. If it’s clean, it’s on the floor. If it’s dirty, it’s on the floor over there.
Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling “LET THE BEETS DROP!” And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable.
I don’t give my children “chores”. I give them “missions” and that change in the name has made my whole life easier.
I wonder if tarantulas are nostalgic for the 70s, when excessive body hair was still cool?
First person to build a clock had no idea how long it took.
The French cow says MEUX…
When I hear “This call is being monitored for quality assurance” I think “Cool, let’s see how bad this person wants their job.”