@WilliamAder: Trying to convince my wife I said "adieu," instead of "I do," at our wedding, but she's not buying it.
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@SortaBad: "Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows
@WheelTod: *hijacks plane *kills pilot Me *turning to friend: "OK. Now fly this thing!" Friend: “I can't fly a plane” Me: “But you told me you were a master of the skies!” Friend: “No. Master of *disguise*” Me: “Then why the heck are you dressed as a pilot!... Ah OK I get it now.”