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@loudmouth_usa: TSA Agent (looking at my ID): Is this you?
Me: I believe that is ultimately your decision to make sir.
@envydatropic: I had a friend call to say they're on their way over. I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough to tell them I'm not home after I told them I was home when I answered the call.
The moral of the story? Don't answer the phone. Ever.