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@stevevsninjas: TSA agent: Please remove all footwear
TSA agent: Not mine, sir
@HallpassCanada: If you're a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
@HilariousEdited: just gonna leave this here
@ndiquote: If being sexy is a crime then I'm not committing one.
@TheAlexNevil: Lawyer: And your opinion?
Cat: No question-a dog pushed the fish bowl over & ate the goldfish
Dog Defendant: Are you KIDDING me with this?!'
@baronvonbike: Every time I pull a gun at the bank, the tellers act so stuck up.