@TheTweetOfGod: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, there was a grim recognition of the fundamental uselessness of man's endeavors.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@teacup_giraffe: You go for a run then post your route to Facebook. I dig a hole on that route then cover it with sticks and leaves. We both get exercise.
@Darlainky: My mom said I have a cousin twice removed and now I’m wondering how you can screw up so badly you get disowned two times.
@NoogsCorner: The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.