Twitter is perfect for extroverted introverts. I want to be social & have lots of friends but I don’t want to leave my house. Or wear pants.

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“GO SPORTS!” -how I cheer for all sports


If you’re getting serious about someone, check what number their toaster is set on, because that’s what you’re going to be living with.


Give me one reason why I shouldn’t pass this math class
“You held up 2 fingers just now”
Ok then give me that many reasons


Haunted houses are great but have you ever had a deer clear your hood at 55 mph?


Gonna put watermelon on my pizza just to start a Twitter uproar


*found in the netflix horror section*
“Mary has a secret that’ll TEAR YOU APART”
Movie name: Mary piranha


Wendy’s burgers are square but not the buns.

It’s like they started a revolution then got tired halfway through.


eating mac and cheese in 64 bites is called mine kraft