@YourDailyGroan: Twitter. Or as I call it: Sinterest.
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@davidkenny100: Pal: my advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it! Later Me: Guess how many buses it took me to get here
@truegritrumble: ME: I'd like to register my kid for school. SCHOOL REGISTRAR: Sir, that's a goat. ME: *proudly* A BABY goat.
@DaddyJew: My son just looked at his best friend of 5 years and said "hey you" because he temporarily forgot his name and I've never felt closer to him.