@YourDailyGroan: Twitter. Or as I call it: Sinterest.
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@MollySneed: [first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally.
@AmishPornStar1: According to some "experts" called "doctors"... You can wake up without a hangover if you don't drink the night before. Whatever.
@ReeseButCallMeV: What phone etiquette?! You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.