@burntmybagel: Twitter: something to read when people are talking to you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PleaseBeGneiss: Me: *draws pentagram, chants in latin* Demon: *possesses me* Me: *head spins around, neck cracks several times* ahh yeah that’s the shit Demon: same time next week?
@NinjaSweatpants: Getting asked 'you want a fork' by a hot Chinese waitress is misleading as fork to my american ears
@KeetPotato: "dont get conned into spendin our lottery money" i wont [calls wife back] will 2 sharks fit in our pool? "NO" ok [to salesman] one shark pls