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@ariscott: Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"
@daemonic3: Hey girl, do you like bad boys?
[drinks milk from carton]
Or REALLY bad boys?
[eats spoonful of yogurt one day after expiration date]
@jamesbirchall97: "Describe yourself in 4 words."
Bad at counting.
@UncleDuke1969: "It's a dog-eat-dog world."
- Hannibal Labradoodle
@lawrence_bear: Apparently sleeping your way to the top, doesn't mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
@thepunningman: Farmer: I love my job
Wife: But all you do all day is round up cows
Farmer: What did you say to me?
Wife: You herd