When I’m bored I like to call in sick to places I don’t work for. I’m getting written up at Home Depot
Two squirrels in the backyard. But they are not playing together. Wonder if there’s history.
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Paralegal activity. #BoringHorrorMovies
Just found out that A Tale of Two Cities was originally serialised in two local newspapers.
It was The Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.
[first day of astronomy class]
So, does everyone get to be an astronaut,
or do we draw straws?
angel: you died
me: oh no
angel: but at least you lived a good life
angel: helped others
angel: did all u could
angel: *checking clipboard* I’ve got the wrong notes, haven’t I
me: I didn’t wanna interrupt
I like to play fetch with my cat….which, you know, is just me throwing stuff, followed by disappointment.
Judge: Your word is ‘babe’
J: Sorry. There’s another ‘B’
Bee: WHAT! WHERE?
Bummed that there’s no obvious place to insert a $ into my name.
If I ever owned a funeral home, I would name it “Remains To Be Seen”.
I love a relaxing bath at the end of the work day but it makes the other people in the office uncomfortable.