@shutupmikeginn: Two strangers on the subway just got into a political argument and now I can see they're each writing Facebook posts about it
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@IvoryGazelle: 8yo me: i wanta be a paleontologist when i grow up 28yo me: (sifting through cat litter) oh look, a quarter!
@UrplePingo: LOL there's like 20 guys w/ "Female Body Inspector" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO
@sarahclazarus: some women wear fake wedding rings in public so they don’t get hit on but I swear by my floor-length victorian widow’s veil