@Donna_McCoy: Until I got married I didn't even know it was possible to chew bubblegum arrogantly.
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@kimtopher22: "We no longer use straws," he said, handing me two plastic bottles of water. "They're bad for the environment."
@TheTweetOfGod: What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we're all white.
@EndhooS: Scientist: knowing that flamingos turn pink because they eat shrimp, we fed one nothing but Gatorade for 6 months Reporter: so what happened? Scientist: it's dead.