When you go to therapy they should get to ask three people in your life what your problem is before you start.
when someone tries to make you take a photo facing the sun bc it’s good lighting
My work has one of those little clock in / clock out punch cards like the movies and let me tell you, it’s a thrill and a half!!!
if you’ve ever been worried about pitching something crazy at your job, imagine being the person who suggested taking temperatures rectally
butterfly in the sky, i can go twice as high?? You’re starting your song dissing a key pollinator? For what?
Why am I getting ads for things that cost $495? I have never bought anything ever that costs $495
sorry but I don’t want to go to another platform where I have to make things either aesthetically appealing (IG, TT) or like nerdy specialized (Reddit) I’m trying to be a talkative idiot
When someone has two dogs everyone’s always assuming they’re siblings like “where’s your brother?” “share with your sister” what if they’re dating? What if they’re coworkers?
the funniest possible response to someone saying they were a gifted kid is to be like “really?”
not to be a complainer but if dogs can have treats to clean their teeth why can’t we
Perhaps nothing is more overrepresented in film than snow globes.
this is supposed to be an 18 year old
best lyric of all time is when elton John was like “if I was a sculptor, but then again no” like pls I’m on the edge of my seat .. what were you going to do as a sculptor Elton!?!!!
Piss someone off by calling their dojo a karate store.
ok here’s the deal. Yes it was dumb of NASA to ask Sally Ride if she needed 100 tampons for a 7-day mission, but I would have said “Actually I need 250” because that’s free tampons from the government, babbbbyyy.