@1ofthe7dwarves

PSYCHIC: I can feel a spirit in this house.

ME: Is it saying anything?

PSYCHIC: Yes, your car warranty is about to expire…

@1ofthe7dwarves

Never understood football. If I wanted to watch people run into each other I would just go to the mall on a Saturday.

@1ofthe7dwarves

Putting my cat at the top of my Christmas tree this year because 1) she’s already an angel and 2) she’s going to climb up there anyway