She had silky hair and legs that went on for days. I was in bed with a horse.
If mobile wallets do away with credit cards, they’ll need to come up with an app that can scrape my windshield.
I generally don’t trim my ear hair until it effects my peripheral vision.
“It got weird, didn’t it? ”
*Leaves on a pogo stick.*
I marched in a high school band, caught an armed robber, and sold girl scout cookies. All I was trying to do was find my car.
Lemon is supposedly a good diuretic. I ate a quart of lemon pudding and nothing is happening.
If your date asks what you do for a living, just say “You let me worry about that.”
I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see.
I just posted a selfie and people told me to get well soon.
I remember when “Something’s eating up data.” meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled.