Funny Tweeter

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Page of 2tickytacky's best tweets

@2tickytacky : I just posted a selfie and people told me to get well soon.

@2tickytacky: I remember when "Something's eating up data." meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled.

@2tickytacky: I posted a selfie and someone commented "Oh my! That was brave.".

@2tickytacky: Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor.

@2tickytacky: OMG. My wife's boyfriend made such a fuss when I told his parents at dinner about how noisy those two are in bed.

@2tickytacky: I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?

@2tickytacky: "You've lost some weight." sounds suspiciously like "You were a disgusting fatso before, but I was too nice to say so.".

@2tickytacky: When someone yells "Fire!" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep

@2tickytacky: She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she's gone. She took off after a squirrel.

@2tickytacky: He told her that trees blossom in her presence. What he meant was that she scares the sap back up into them.