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Page of 3sunzzz's best tweets

@3sunzzz : My husband ate the rice I cooked for our new puppy and long story short his bags are packed.

@3sunzzz: Postcards are just weird. It's like, "Hey everyone, feel free to read what I wrote to my aunt until it's delivered to her house."

@3sunzzz: My husband and I are looking for someone to play the harmonica while we have sex, no weirdos please.

@3sunzzz: Do you want to see a 4yo cry on their birthday? Give them a Slinky and wait about 7 minutes.

@3sunzzz: It's like my grandma always used to say, "Don't go to the grocery store hungry and don't go to the liquor store drunk."

@3sunzzz: My husband said I talk too much, so we had a nice long chat about that!

@3sunzzz: I got a gumball machine for my 11th birthday. It was like saying, "Hey I got you a gift but you have to pay $.10 every time you want to play with it."

@3sunzzz: Um, products that have seals that read, "Do not use if seal is missing," how are we supposed to know that a seal is missing if it's missing?

@3sunzzz: Friend: I'm engaged! *flashes ring* He bought me this beautiful teardrop shaped diamond!

Me: ah, the irony

Friend: What?!

Me: What?

@3sunzzz: My husband changed his cologne brand for the 1st time in 31 years. Now he smells like I'm having an affair.