@3sunzzz: It's like my grandma always used to say, "Don't go to the grocery store hungry and don't go to the liquor store drunk."
@3sunzzz: I got a gumball machine for my 11th birthday. It was like saying, "Hey I got you a gift but you have to pay $.10 every time you want to play with it."
@3sunzzz: Um, products that have seals that read, "Do not use if seal is missing," how are we supposed to know that a seal is missing if it's missing?
@3sunzzz: Friend: I'm engaged! *flashes ring* He bought me this beautiful teardrop shaped diamond!
Me: ah, the irony
@3sunzzz: My husband changed his cologne brand for the 1st time in 31 years. Now he smells like I'm having an affair.
@3sunzzz: Assert your dominance by putting a few decorative pillows in your husband's truck.
@3sunzzz: Whenever I want my son to visit I tell him our dog keeps going in his old bedroom trying to find him.
@3sunzzz: I write fake chores on my to-do list just to scribble them out, then my husband thinks I do more.