Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of 5hael's best tweets

@5hael : I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.

@5hael: My ceiling fan has three setting:
- very slow
- slow
- I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident

@5hael: I think I'm a genius.... I just solved a rubiks cube so fast!

It only took me 5 minutes and 25 seconds to peel off all the stickers.

@5hael: Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there's really no set in stone rules here.

@5hael: How long do you have to wait between naps?