@68Cly29

I can cook, clean, do my own laundry and grogery shop. I think I only need a woman for one thing.

To let me know when I am wrong.

@68Cly29

The part of the Harry Potter movies that I found most unbelievable was that mostly unsupervised teenagers never had wild keg parties.

@68Cly29

Doctors, soldiers, firefighters. These are all respected positions. But the position I respect most as a parent

Is a driver’s Ed instructor

@68Cly29

Puts fitbit on dogs collar. Throws the ball around. Sits on the couch and eat chips. Wins all the challenges

@68Cly29

The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to ‘gamenight’ and she brings Monopoly.

@68Cly29

The neighbors are looking at me strangely again. Like they have never seen a man sitting on his roof with a pair binoculars before.

@68Cly29

I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane

@68Cly29

Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly

– autocorrect

@68Cly29

I have two dogs. One named Rolex and one named Timex.

They’re watchdogs.

@68Cly29

50 shades – only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds