@AGStr8upNinja

Cop: Do you have any drugs in the car?

Me: Nope, payday isn’t until Thursday.

@AGStr8upNinja

Scientists say North America is going to sink into the ocean but we can change that.
With a healthy diet and a little bit of exercise.

@AGStr8upNinja

She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk.

@AGStr8upNinja

I purposely park three feet away from the drive thru window so Mcdonalds employees can get in their daily stretches.

@AGStr8upNinja

It’s not the amount of followers young GRASSHOPPER.

It’s the quality of followers.

@AGStr8upNinja

Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that’s not your Ferrari?

@AGStr8upNinja

How to be a Canadian:

1) Love hockey
2) Use good manners
3) Drink Tim Hortons
4) Live in a igloo
5) Hunt moose with stick

@AGStr8upNinja

Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee’s you’re buying it off of sure can.