Running away doesn’t help you with your problems. Unless you’re fat.
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I’m going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg.
That’ll blow his Lil mind
Tornadoes and marriage are alike, because they both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.
When a Nokia phone warns you about low battery, you have at least 1 month to find where the charger is lying in your house.
I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, “What would your parents say if I called them?’ I replied, “Hello?”