@AKcrazy18

Running away doesn’t help you with your problems. Unless you’re fat.

@AKcrazy18

I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I’m going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg.

That’ll blow his Lil mind

@AKcrazy18

Tornadoes and marriage are alike, because they both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

@AKcrazy18

When a Nokia phone warns you about low battery, you have at least 1 month to find where the charger is lying in your house.

@AKcrazy18

I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, “What would your parents say if I called them?’ I replied, “Hello?”