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Page of AbbyHasIssues's best tweets

@AbbyHasIssues : Got a new bottle of dish soap and now I'm using what's left in the old one with the reckless abandon of someone in a much higher tax bracket.

@AbbyHasIssues: Welcome to adulthood.

You get mad when they rearrange your grocery store now.

@AbbyHasIssues: It turns out the answer to my problems wasn't at the bottom of this big bowl of pasta, but the important thing is that I tried.

@AbbyHasIssues: I missed two of my mom's calls, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called.

@AbbyHasIssues: I just got excited about a new scent of dish soap.

No one warned me adulthood was going to be such a non-stop thrill ride.

@AbbyHasIssues: Friend: Did you already eat or do you want to get some food?

Me: Correct.

@AbbyHasIssues: Sorry, package of toilet paper. I'm only making one trip from the car with these grocery bags, so you're sleeping in the car tonight.

@AbbyHasIssues: I like to take down Christmas decorations in stages. Right now in the stage where I sit on the couch with a cup of tea in denial that I need to take down the Christmas decorations.

@AbbyHasIssues: Age 21: Goes out for drinks after 9 PM and gets home at 2 AM.

Age 37: Has one tiny little sip of water after 8 PM and has to get up and pee three times before 2 AM.

@AbbyHasIssues: It turns out the answer to my problems wasn't at the bottom of this pint of ice cream, but the important thing is that I tried.