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Page of Adam14's best tweets

@Adam14 : A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.

@Adam14: Calling a girl "honey" is ok.

Calling a girl "bee vomit" is not ok.

I'm a relationship expert.

@Adam14: My new bowflex comes if anyone wants to buy a slightly used bowflex in a couple months let me know.

@Adam14: Hey, people who don't properly re-seal your half empty bags of potato chips... what's it like eating spider eggs?

@Adam14: I heard that sadomasochistic vegans like to get beet and artichoked.

Some even like getting pead on.

Don't turnip your nose at this.

@Adam14: Her: I love it when we finish each other's

Him: pancakes

@Adam14: My wife's so square in bed she has cubic hair

@Adam14: I don't know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.

@Adam14: I still use the word "dude".

I don't give a dude.

I don't use it right, but I still dude it.

@Adam14: *wife looks through my phone

*divorces me 8 times