Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@Adam14 : A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
@Adam14: Calling a girl "honey" is ok.
Calling a girl "bee vomit" is not ok.
I'm a relationship expert.
@Adam14: My new bowflex comes tomorrow...so if anyone wants to buy a slightly used bowflex in a couple months let me know.
@Adam14: Hey, people who don't properly re-seal your half empty bags of potato chips... what's it like eating spider eggs?
@Adam14: I heard that sadomasochistic vegans like to get beet and artichoked.
Some even like getting pead on.
Don't turnip your nose at this.
@Adam14: Her: I love it when we finish each other's
@Adam14: My wife's so square in bed she has cubic hair
@Adam14: I don't know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
@Adam14: I still use the word "dude".
I don't give a dude.
I don't use it right, but I still dude it.
@Adam14: *wife looks through my phone
*divorces me 8 times