My neighbor hates preparing food for his horses with his son, coz the boy always finds ways to mess things up.
So instead, he’ll ask the boy to polish his shoes to keep him busy, and then he’ll hurry to the stables to work. He makes hay while the son shines
Been planning to buy this ram since, but I’ve been procrastinating. Now I just found out the farmer already sold the animal to one boats man.
I’m finally ready to buy, but that sheep has sailed
[Bad guys in John Wick movies be like]
Bad guy: He’s coming
Bad guy: John Wick, baba yaga
Henchmen: He’s just one guy boss, we can take him
Bad guy: You fools!!! Before John Wick visited Israel on a mission, the Dead Sea used to be called the alive sea
Man: When my brother Sanctus opened his shop, he named it Sanctuary
Friend: Okay, but…
Man: My sister Esther opened her own and named it Estuary
Friend: I know, but just…
Man: So what’s the issue with my own?
Friend: That’s what I’m trying to explain Obi
Interviewer: It says here that your weakness is that you don’t pay attention. Is that true?
Me: Sorry, did you say something?
I like eating corn without anything else, but my friends always try to make me buy and eat that small, purple fruit with it, but I will never give in to pear pressure
*Knock on the door*
Woman: Shit! It’s my boyfriend
Man: Oh shit!!! *Pulls out and jumps down from the bed* What do we do?
Woman: Hide in the closet. Quick!
Man: Okay, smart. Let me just…wait…
Man: Karen, I’m your husband!