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@Alex_LaVallee : My 4yr old daughter just charged me $47 for a fake cake she cooked in her pretend oven.
She stared at me until I paid her.
@Alex_LaVallee: You guys know monogamy is NOT a type of wood, right?!?
@Alex_LaVallee: Cop: license and registration please.
Me: (gives cop both)
Cop: you drinking tonight?
Cop: you handed me 2 empty beer cans.
@Alex_LaVallee: My wife just walked into a huge spider web.
She is now a black belt in karate.
@Alex_LaVallee: HUGE shout out to Will Smith!
With out him we never would have survived the alien attack in '96.
Happy Independence Day!