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Page of AlwaysAButt's best tweets

@AlwaysAButt : the 5 girls who will absolutely ruin your life:

1. julia
2. julia
3. julia
4. julia
5. julia

julia if you're reading this bring my goldfish back

@AlwaysAButt: a conspiracy: all these dudes on tinder are actually holding the same fish. they just ship it to each other when they need a new photo because they can't actually catch one

@AlwaysAButt: doctor: you're gonna need to take probiotics

me: oh i don't think i can afford that

doctor: don't worry, there are lower cost options

me: ah, yes. amateur biotics