the 5 girls who will absolutely ruin your life:

1. julia
2. julia
3. julia
4. julia
5. julia

julia if you’re reading this bring my goldfish back


a conspiracy: all these dudes on tinder are actually holding the same fish. they just ship it to each other when they need a new photo because they can’t actually catch one


doctor: you’re gonna need to take probiotics

me: oh i don’t think i can afford that

doctor: don’t worry, there are lower cost options

me: ah, yes. amateur biotics