If you people would’ve used a little more alizarin crimson like Bob Ross told you to, none of this would be happening right now
Today is the day I write something beautifully profound
No. That was it. I’m going back to bed
Studies show people lose interest in a tweet right about now
Over the last few months I’ve collected enough wine corks to raise the Titanic
Quarantine Day 26
Puts pictures of mom all around the house and runs with scissors laughing maniacally
I know how to make her bite her lip, arch her back and curl her toes
Legos on the floor by her side of the bed
I’m always confused at fancy restaurants. Which spoon do you throw at the screaming toddler?
I guess if Porky Pig wants to flash someone, he just takes off his bowtie?