@AndreyasAsylum

Imagine getting your card declined at an exorcism and having them put all of your demons back.

@AndreyasAsylum

I should probably try harder to find a mail-order-bride before the post office shuts down completely.

@AndreyasAsylum

My cat has made it very clear that we will not be getting rid of the box that I want to get rid of.

@AndreyasAsylum

My rabbits are hot and they aren’t happy about it. I’ve got hot cross buns.

I’ll see myself out.

@AndreyasAsylum

Hey, do you guys remember when people kept those little wax paper cups in the bathroom so that when you were thirsty you could have a little toilet water?

@AndreyasAsylum

I got so excited about my new pill box that now Alexa won’t stop suggesting assisted living facilities.

@AndreyasAsylum

I keep having this dream about a guy I chopped up and put in my freezer. I always have to try and hide it when I get a new roommate. The roommate part is really starting to freak me out.