Imagine getting your card declined at an exorcism and having them put all of your demons back.
I should probably try harder to find a mail-order-bride before the post office shuts down completely.
My cat has made it very clear that we will not be getting rid of the box that I want to get rid of.
I want what every woman wants at 2 am: Breakfast.
The Cranberries put a zombie in your head and you just let them.
My rabbits are hot and they aren’t happy about it. I’ve got hot cross buns.
I’ll see myself out.
Hey, do you guys remember when people kept those little wax paper cups in the bathroom so that when you were thirsty you could have a little toilet water?
I got so excited about my new pill box that now Alexa won’t stop suggesting assisted living facilities.
I keep having this dream about a guy I chopped up and put in my freezer. I always have to try and hide it when I get a new roommate. The roommate part is really starting to freak me out.
I just sneezed and even my dog looked worried.