@AngelaEhh
They should really have disposable razors in the women’s bathrooms at bars.
@AngelaEhh
@AngelaEhh
An app that tells you the cleanest highway bathrooms. Why isn’t this a thing yet.
@AngelaEhh
If you see me longingly looking at you at the pub, i’m just wondering if you’re going to eat all those nachos?
@AngelaEhh
Bartender: What can I get you?
Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll?
Bartender:
Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me?
Bartender:
Me: Beer.
@AngelaEhh
Trying to motivate myself to go for a run, but it’s windy outside.
And outside.
@AngelaEhh
*licks ice cream cone
Cone: I have a boyfriend.
@AngelaEhh
Just tried to put my seatbelt on.
AT MY DESK.
I’m pretty.
@AngelaEhh
I thought I wanted to get married again.
Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn’t think.
@AngelaEhh
I’m sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding.
@AngelaEhh
Kids teach you so many life lessons.
Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.