@AngelaEhh An app that tells you the cleanest highway bathrooms. Why isn’t this a thing yet.
@AngelaEhh @AngelaEhh If you see me longingly looking at you at the pub, i’m just wondering if you’re going to eat all those nachos?
@AngelaEhh Bartender: What can I get you?
Me: Sex, beards, rock & roll?
Bartender:
Me: Sparkling vampire crazy about me?
Bartender:
Me: Beer.
@AngelaEhh Trying to motivate myself to go for a run, but it’s windy outside.
And outside.
@AngelaEhh *licks ice cream cone
Cone: I have a boyfriend.
@AngelaEhh Just tried to put my seatbelt on.
AT MY DESK.
I’m pretty.
@AngelaEhh I thought I wanted to get married again.
Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn’t think.
@AngelaEhh I’m sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding.
@AngelaEhh Kids teach you so many life lessons.
Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.
@AngelaEhh This liquid diet crap is a scam. I’ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I’m still fat.