@AnitaHelmet: Me: I'll take Complete The Phrase for $1000.
Alex Trebek: If you love someone, you should set them...
Me: What is "on fire", Alex.
@AnitaHelmet: Doctor: Is there a chance you might be pregnant?
Me: If I am, I’ll be giving birth to some batteries.
@AnitaHelmet: When it comes to sex, I really need to have a connection.
Otherwise the page just keeps buffering and it takes FOREVER to load.
@AnitaHelmet: I just want to apologize to all the guys I dated BEFORE I started using Prozac.
And to their wives. And their local fire departments.
@AnitaHelmet: I have a thing for older men. Not cuz I have 'daddy issues', but because I also like to eat dinner at 4:30 and be asleep by 8pm.
@AnitaHelmet: My husband hasn't forgiven me for answering 'Okie dokie artichokie' instead of utilizing the more socially acceptable phrase, "I do."
@AnitaHelmet: If men knew the effect their scent has on women, they'd shower more and fart less.
@AnitaHelmet: You can tell a lot about a person by their avi.
For instance if they use an egg, they're probably a chicken.