Avoid getting invited to family reunions by asking your relatives for money.
You’re having a big wedding? Cool. I’m having a Big Mac
How much for the soulmate?
Ma’am, that’s a bag of Doritos.
*Ends up at refrigerator.
Have you tried locking him in your trunk?
*Hits rock bottom.
*Receives welcome basket from Twitter.
*Receives good, solid, sound advice.
*Does exact opposite.