I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.
I am at my most pretend homemaker when I have a repair person in the house. Who me? Oh I’m just gonna sit here and handsew the trim back on this pillow and when I’m finished with that I’m going to sort my dried flowers for two hours.
Opened closet in hotel to check for murderers while simultaneously realizing I was unprepared should one be in there.
At the dmv waiting outside for my daughter to fill out paperwork. I’m remembering when I was 16 and my dad backed the car into the spot so I could just pull forward with the test guy. It worked! And 35 years later, I still can’t back out very well.
I accidentally wore a beetle inside. Neither party was happy about this.
Every escape room should have a planted person that makes hotter/colder faces when somebody has an idea.
Teen horror movies taught me one thing. Vampires really want to hang around with us.
Whenever I see a couple doing yard work, I like the one standing by the bags of dirt who looks like they can’t quite believe they are outdoors and can’t fathom how they’ve gotten caught up in this terrible thing.
More than once I’ve clicked on an ad for clothing that turned out to be for a toddler.
I somehow ended up with a set of 6 fake candles that work off a remote and the delight of the absolute power to light up the room from the couch was most unexpected.
I got a locket as a present, but I haven’t changed the stock photos in it yet. Currently I have been walking around with a baby and a dog I don’t know around my neck.
I’ve learned many things from working with younger people but one is that you can deliver some pretty terrible news followed by lol.
A horror movie but you have to scoot out of the round booth to get away.
When you go to the zoo, one person in your party is required to wear a safari hat. It doesn’t have to be you, but if you’re lucky, it will be.
It’s a horror movie called Overalls in the Portapotty.