Try a craft you’ve never done so you can get mad at a person you’ve never met.
If you’ve ever wanted to change up your name, now’s the time. New name, add a name, doesn’t matter. When you go back to work, it’ll be all Yeah, Tom, I’m pretty sure my last name’s always been Twizzlers.
Why are you charging me $3.99 to watch a movie from 2006? I feel like I’m doing you the favor.
My husband is working from home and he’s still late.
I have sitting jeans and I have standing jeans, but I don’t have a pair that’ll do both.
You have no idea how many windows you have until someone is working on your gutters.
The first 8 minutes of any plumber’s visit are spent apologizing for what we tried before we called him.
To the person who brought multi-grain chips to the party- you could have just said you didn’t want to come.
I’m supposed to wear a blouse and slacks to an event. This looks like a job for FuneralPants.
I just saved a mom $26 by trying on the same hat her teen daughter wanted.
Like when you make a mistake on your paper so you use wite-out but then it gets all chunky and busted and worse. That’s concealer in your 40s.
Dec. 21st Xmas shopping: guy to other guy, “Does she wear earrings?” Long pause. Other guy, ” I don’t know.”
Exercise workout videos always have the person smiling. I would rather have a video where the lead person is complain cussing the whole time and saying things like Why are we doing this? This is horrible.
Lunch dates with spouses perplex me. I’ll just see you later at home for free.
I’m going to open a store selling trinkets with profound sayings like “Life is better without crippling obligations” or “Bills are easier to pay when you have money.”