@AntozWolf

I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*

@AntozWolf

I don’t get it. Rock beats scissors but no one says shit about running with them.

@AntozWolf

Police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!!!!
Me: Not with that attitude.

@AntozWolf

“I’m having a public meltdown!!” – A Snowman, maybe.

@AntozWolf

I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig…. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.

@AntozWolf

I’m sure a spider is never scrutinized for spending too much time on the web.

@AntozWolf

There’s a reason the iPhone autocorrects “Yolo” to “tool.”

@AntozWolf

Its wrong that priests have to live a life of forced celibacy . They should get married and let celibacy come upon them the usual way.

@AntozWolf

For some reason I’m an extremely secretive
person. Don’t ask me why

@AntozWolf

I ask myself, “How did I get here?,” I’m sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house…taking a shower.