Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of AsYouNotWish's best tweets

@AsYouNotWish : Proud to announce that I’m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don’t know we’re racing.

@AsYouNotWish: Wife: How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

@AsYouNotWish: The main reason Santa is so jovial is cuz he knows where all the bad girls live.

@AsYouNotWish: I want 2 kids just in case the first one doesn't get enough likes on Instagram.

@AsYouNotWish: I hate it when celebrities ask me to donate to some fund, you make 30 millions a movie & I make $30 a day. You send money.