@AsgardianRose: Harry Potter: A Shortened Version
Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter.
Everyone else: Lol, no.
@AsgardianRose: Life can be compared to a 'Choose your own adventure' book.
Sometimes there's a happy ending; sometimes you get eaten by a bear.
@AsgardianRose: "This is mine", he growled passionately into her ear. "Are we clear?"
Breathlessly, she agreed. She wouldn't try to eat his nachos again.
@AsgardianRose: Please stop putting flyers on my windshield in parking lots. I have no desire to see your new band called "Parking Violation".
@AsgardianRose: Being an adult means I'm in charge of my own bedtime, and I've realized I'm not equipped to handle that responsibility.
@AsgardianRose: I just overheard a woman tell her son "We don't lick other people, it's gross" and now I'm reevaluating so many choices I've made.
@AsgardianRose: Her: We had the baby! She is 7lbs 3oz, born at 9:08am. We'll be naming her tomorrow.
Me: Tomorrow is a terrible name for a baby, tbh.
@AsgardianRose: Forget sex positions, has anyone found a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after about 5 minutes?
@AsgardianRose: You know how people play video games by pushing all the buttons at once?
That's how I'm handling adulthood.