Annoy your wife by saying “wow” every time a chick gets out of the limo on The Bachelor.
A dating site that connects Tupperware containers with lost lids.
In Australia what doesn’t kill you is probably just saving you for the sharks.
Remember how much you used to like this song?- Car ads.
Nothing can destroy your good opinion of a company quicker than working for them.
My “Savings Account” is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.
My doctor said I shouldn’t hug people, admittedly it was 10 years ago when I had the flu but I still use that one.
If I’ve learnt anything from Zombie movies it’s that people meat is pretty damn stringy.
What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.