@AthenaMystique: *texts god*
Me: yo, can we add "being a grammar nazi" to the list of sins? Their annoying.
@AthenaMystique: Just saw a sign advertising crabs and clams. I don't know about you, but I prefer to keep the crabs away from my clam.
@AthenaMystique: Apparently UFC is not Ultimate Fried Chicken and now I'm even hungrier watching huge greased up men touch each other inappropriately.
@AthenaMystique: Dear Google Maps,
Don't insult me by telling me to head "southwest". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you.
@AthenaMystique: When cute black and white bears start communing with spirits, it's pandanormal.
@AthenaMystique: I hope buying all this cat food doesn't make me look like a crazy cat lady.
I just like the taste.
@AthenaMystique: Canadians have to stick together.
Really, it's the massive amounts of maple syrup. They don't have much of a choice.
@AthenaMystique: Coworker: Oh, look how beautiful! It's snowing again!
Me: *stabs coworker with icicle*