@BBQJones28

For the record..when you get punched in the face..it doesn’t make that movie sound…at all.

@BBQJones28

Shout out to the dude who’s followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week.

@BBQJones28

Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.

@BBQJones28

Family cookouts are spent telling me to “stop…don’t say that”

@BBQJones28

I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them.

@BBQJones28

Tomorrow I’m gonna chase someone…like really run after them..screaming and everything.

@BBQJones28

For every chick that’s crying about no good guys out there…there’s a dude she’s ignoring that’s good to her.

@BBQJones28

When someone favorites instead of retweeting me I comfort myself by thinking “they’re just keeping me to themselves”