A closed mouth keeps it’s teeth.
For the record..when you get punched in the face..it doesn’t make that movie sound…at all.
Shout out to the dude who’s followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week.
Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.
Family cookouts are spent telling me to “stop…don’t say that”
I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them.
Tomorrow I’m gonna chase someone…like really run after them..screaming and everything.
For every chick that’s crying about no good guys out there…there’s a dude she’s ignoring that’s good to her.
When someone favorites instead of retweeting me I comfort myself by thinking “they’re just keeping me to themselves”