If you’re wondering what good can come from all of this, at least they’re now putting tamper seals on pizza boxes.
My neighbor bought a Corolla, then one appeared in my other neighbor’s driveway.
I’m really starting to worry about this virus…
I’m very sorry, I must inform you, the stupidity has metastasized.
Co-worker: some food is way high in vitamins, k?
Me: that’s bananas.
Co-worker: Do you know why there is water on the floor?
Me: Yes, but I don’t have time right now to explain fluid dynamics and stagnation points.
2016: imagine the worst case scenario.
2019: no, not like that, worser
If I ever marry someone who shares my intense love of puns, she’ll be my pun-kin.
How do mathematicians plot their leg day workouts?
With quad-ratic equations.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “what if Cartman grew up and became president?”, well…
Sorry, your invitation got lost in the trash.