@BadMikeyBad

Wanted: 6 people to dress up as Zombie Teletubbies and join me in a circle howling at the moon in my neighbor’s arbory

No weirdos

@BadMikeyBad

OJ Simpson now has a Twitter Account. I’m sure he’ll kill it here

@BadMikeyBad

Some of y’all tweet about Mondays like it caught you by surprise

@BadMikeyBad

If you ask me to give you a ride anywhere on less than 2 hours notice, you’re gonna be sitting in a pile of empty soda bottles and chip bags.

@BadMikeyBad

I practice safe drinking by uninstalling the Amazon App from my phone before I start

@BadMikeyBad

High School Reunions are bullshit. Why would I pay money to see people I’ve been deliberately avoiding for the past 20 years

@BadMikeyBad

Welcome to your forties, you’re now wondering why younger people are so dumb

@BadMikeyBad

Thanks to SnapChat filters I’m now sexually attracted to girl rabbits, bats, and cocker spaniels