Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of BadMikeyBad's best tweets

@BadMikeyBad : OJ Simpson now has a Twitter Account. I’m sure he’ll kill it here

@BadMikeyBad: I don’t have a swear jar anymore, I have a swear barrel

@BadMikeyBad: Some of y’all tweet about Mondays like it caught you by surprise

@BadMikeyBad: If you ask me to give you a ride anywhere on less than 2 hours notice, you’re gonna be sitting in a pile of empty soda bottles and chip bags.

@BadMikeyBad: I practice safe drinking by uninstalling the Amazon App from my phone before I start

@BadMikeyBad: High School Reunions are bullshit. Why would I pay money to see people I’ve been deliberately avoiding for the past 20 years

@BadMikeyBad: Welcome to your forties, you’re now wondering why younger people are so dumb

@BadMikeyBad: Thanks to SnapChat filters I'm now sexually attracted to girl rabbits, bats, and cocker spaniels

@BadMikeyBad: This pepper spray feels like no really meant no

@BadMikeyBad: The scariest sound is an unknown crash followed by my 9 year old yelling "It's OK! There's nothing wrong! You don't need to come up here"